I've been trying to reflect and write a little bit about my brother and his passing, but the experience has been difficult. The issue that has come up the most has been what tense do I use to describe him? I think that's what has bothered me the most about the entire event is that my brother is stuck at 21. He will always be 21. He'll never get to be more than 21. And as I write about him, the tendency is to use past tense to describe him, and I don't want to write in the past tense. I want to write in the present and the future. I'm not saying he deserves to be preserved in the present tense for now and until the end of time, but it absolutely kills me to write, "My brother was..." and "My brother had been..."
There's no future in either of those statements.
Hey, Joel -- just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you. It's totally trite, but if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to let me know -- I mean it.
ReplyDeleteMy dad died when he was 21. I know that everyone feels sorry for me about that, but what it really did was kind of kill his siblings, too.
Hugs.