Dear 18 Year Old Me

Dear 18 Year Old Me,

You've got your whole life ahead of you and let me reassure you that your life is going to turn out just fine. Spoiler Alert, at the very least, you'll live to see 27. In the mean time, you end up passing college, making some lifelong friends and creating many memories. You'll get a job with decent pay and you don't have to move back in with Mom and Dad. 

But, 18 Year Old Me, there are some things I really need to tell you, things that are going to make your experience in college and in life much more bearable. Are you still with me? Try not to think about the paradox of the situation too much and just soak up some good advice. 

First and foremost, buy some clothes that fit. Better yet, since Mom and Dad are still footing most of your bills, get them to buy you some clothes that fit. You wear a 32/33 and 15 and 1/2 dress shirt. You'll be tempted to buy the regular cut shirt. Don't! It's a trick. You aren't shaped like a box, so buy the fitted or slim fit shirts. While you're at, get a few polos and throw out any shirts that are large or above. Also, slim or straight cut jeans and khakis all the way. I'm not even going to go into the shoes you are wearing. That's a hopeless case for the moment. You'll learn that lesson the hard way. 

You might be wondering why I chose to nitpick your fashion sense first. Well, it's damned important. I know you just won the senior superlative award for biggest bum dresser, but you're going to be going to college soon and it's time to dress in a manner that might get you a girlfriend at some point. 

While we're on the subject of girlfriends, can I tell you that you are surrounded by women in college? Don't take it for granted. After college, meeting other people is not as easy. Yes, some of these women aren't your type, others won't want anything to do with you, but you have a decent enough personality and looks that somebody will find you attractive. Also, hit the gym. Seriously. Don't roid rage out on me, but go to the rec center at least three times a week. You'll look better, feel better, and you might also meet women. 

Most everything else, you should probably learn on your own. There's value in experiencing some lessons firsthand, and I don't want to shelter you from that. However, I did want to mention that you are lactose intolerant. Stop drinking milk. Ice cream too. Cheese is fine though. The future is not a complete horror. 

If you have questions or you feel like you're second guessing yourself during the next 10 years, that's fine. Try not to worry too much. You'll transition into adulthood, but not without a few damaging experiences. If life feels like it's going off the rails, it probably is. Some parts of your life are really going to suck, but you'll learn from it and come out a better person in the end. (Most of your life will be really good by the way.) Hopefully, if you follow any of my advice, you'll at least face these trials and tribulations dressed as a presentable adult, and not as a potato sack of fashion woe.  

PS Don't ever start playing World of Warcraft.