Where are you from?

For as long as I can remember, I've had strangers ask me about my ethnic background. Some do this in a rather pointed fashion. Others ask in a round about way. The other night I was at a Cardinals game and the man sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder. The following conversation ensued. 

Man: Do you speak Mandarin?

Me: No (I turn away)

A few minutes go by. 

Man: Are you sure you don't speak Mandarin?

Me: Pretty sure.

Man: Oh... So where are you from?

Me: Kansas City. 

Man: Where are your parents from?

Me: Chicago. 

I understood what he was asking, but I'll be damned if I was going to satisfy his curiosity. It's been a while since I've been asked these sorts of questions. It happened more in small town Kirksville than it does in St. Louis. From strangers, I find the inquiry rude and invasive. I suppose, what I find offensive about it is that the guy just wants to find a label for me, and with that label, whatever other assumptions he has. 

Most of the time, I don't think of myself as Asian or Korean. It's not part of my identity and it holds little value to me. It's something I stick on a census form. Perhaps one of the reasons I find the ethnic background question from strangers so off-putting is because it's asking me to assume an identity that I don't identify with. I don't mind answering the ethnicity question when asked by friends, because they already know me. They aren't seeking another label. It's just something that naturally comes up. 

I grew up in overwhelmingly white communities raised by white parents and I am happy with my upbringing. The values of hard work, integrity, and curiosity were instilled in me by my parents. My love of writing was nurtured by many great English teachers. My love of reading comes from my mom. My politic beliefs grew first from my Dad and eventually changed in college much to his chagrin. Those characteristics and traits define me. I own them. 

This is not to say that ethnicity is the only sort of label people can place on you. Gender, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, language spoken, and religion are all used to define others wrongfully. However, ethnicity is the label I've had the most experience dealing with, so it's what I decided to write about tonight.